I'm the kind of person who skips to the conversation when reading a book.

Asking or Telling — the teenage version

“I’ll walk home from church,” Grace told Bobby.  She was staying after the worship service for a teen event.

“I’ll come get you,” he said. “What time will you be done?”

We live less than a mile from the church.  Our town is sweet, innocent, little village with tree-lined streets and hundred year old houses.

“I can walk,” she said again, and turned from him.  The conversation was over in her thirteen-year-old mind.

I was already home fixing lunch when Bobby came in and relayed the conversation to me.

“I’ve already told her that I don’t want her walking alone,” I told him.

Grace is a little slip of a girl, pretty, with blond hair and blue eyes. No, I definitely am not ready for her to walk alone through town — because even a town that seems innocent may be hiding something worse.

“So she’s just being flat out disobedient,” he said, a little grumpily.

“I don’t know if I would look at it like that,” I said. “She’s a teenager and wants some freedom.”

“I know that,” he said, “but I don’t want her walking home alone.  And, if it’s not disobedience, after we’ve both told her how we feel, then what is it?”

IMG_0560[1]“You know how when lock the doors at night, and I sometimes go and check them — you know, just test the doorknob.  It’s not that I don’t believe you locked them.  I just need to be sure,” I told him.

He looked at me, not making the connection.  Sometimes my analogies are a little weak.

“She’s testing the doorknob.  We’ve both told her what we want, but she’s testing the doorknob to see if it’s really locked,” I said.

“So what do we do?” he asked.

“We show up, and either walk her home or drive her home,” I said.

“What if she won’t come with us?” he asked.

“She will,” I answered.

And she did.  No fuss. No fight.

She tested her boundaries and found them still to be in place.


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This entry was posted on April 16, 2013 by in Family conversation, Postaday 2013 and tagged , , , , , , .

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