I'm the kind of person who skips to the conversation when reading a book.
Okay, I found this conversation funny from the get-go.
When my 16 year old son starting talking to me about pick-up lines, I was, like, “Wha—???” The idea of Fin even wanting, needing, or using a pick-up line just seemed funny. He’s the kind of kid who comes home every day after school, or goes to a sports practice. He’s most definitely home every night, except when he plays soccer, and we’re there watching. Pick-up lines? Really?
I started laughing, but I hope I can remember enough of the conversation to give you the gist. It all started while we were riding in the car.
“Ryan has this great pick-up line,” he told me. Ryan is a freckle-faced 15 year old with braces on his teeth, gel in his air, and an attitude.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, and he used it on a waitress at Denny’s.” The other night was one of those incredibly rare occasions that Finley went out with friends. Elliot was with him. They both worked backstage for the high school musical and, as tradition has it, every year after the Saturday night performance, the whole cast and crew go for a late night meal at Denny’s.
“Ryan tried to pick up a waitress at Denny’s?” I asked. The thought of it was ridiculous.
“Well, no, he tried his line, and then he left her a big tip and wrote his phone number on the bill.” Ryan has obviously been watching too many stupid movies lately.
“What’s the line?” I asked.
“It’s a really good line! He showed it to me with Mrs. Richards,” he said. Mrs. Richards is a mid-40s English teacher at the school. A happily married, with two kids slightly younger than Finley and Ryan, church-going English teacher.
“Ryan tried to pick up Mrs. Richards?!” I asked incredulously.
Finley blushed and kind of snorted his Gatorade. “No, he just showed me how it’s done.”
I could hardly wait to hear.
“Okay, so,” Fin said, “he goes up to a girl and asks them to touch his arm. Then, after they do, he tells them he just wanted to know what it felt like to be touched by an angel.”
I started laughing. Talk about corny pick-up lines!
He continued, “So he showed me with Mrs. Richards. He asked her to touch his arm and she did.” I could just imagine what Mrs. Richards was thinking as all this was going on. I suppose high school teachers see a little bit of everything these days.
“What did she do when he gave her the angel line?” I asked.
“She started laughing,” he said.
“What did the waitress do?” I asked.
“She wouldn’t touch his arm so he couldn’t do the whole thing,” he said.
It probably would have made her night. I could just picture her going back into the kitchen and telling the other waitresses about the teenager trying to pick her up with an uber-corny line. They would be laughing so hard they might start crying in the skillet meals they were putting on their trays.
I told Fin that pick-up lines rarely work, and that he should most definitely wait for a girl of substance, not one who falls for cheesy lines.
Being a parent of teenagers is so much fun, especially when they share their lives with you.